By an Anonymous Author

Do you understand the politics

Of being missed

Of wanting someone to care that you’re gone

 

 

Of craving the look

Of someone forsook

To gain the pity of one being wronged

 

 

It’s maddening

The impossibility of satisfaction saddening

I’d tear myself apart if there was something left

 

 

And You watch me heartbroken

Almost destroying myself, till I hear the Word spoken

Reminding that it is I who is guilty of theft

 

 

It is I who rejected

Me who wallows in self-pity, deceitfully dejected

When I was offered a full cup and turned it away

 

 

I crumple in thirst

But You offered me Living Water first

Why can’t I trust that You are here to stay

 

 

There is no imperfection

No hint of defection

That could touch or taint Your love for me

 

 

I’ll try to argue abandonment

Sin because there was no avenue of fulfillment

But every word falls away at the feet of Your bloodstained Body

 

 

You should despise me

After all this sacrifice with me sinning stubbornly

So why, when you look at me, does Your gaze still fill with love?

 

 

In me is no hint of beauty

No grounds for You to look so lovingly

But no matter how much I tear You stand ready to heal from above

 

 

You wait patiently

As I give my heart away again lustfully

And when it breaks, You’ll take it in pieces

 

 

Everyone else has turned me away

I’ve been written off as a sheep gone astray

You’ll buy me back though You know my adultery never ceases

 

 

Not at the price of a servant

Not a worthless trinket of an indifferent merchant

You gave Yourself  to buy back ME, a battered slave

You paid Your blood to ensure that I’m remade

To ensure that I have life

Even while, still, I am Hosea’s wife